"I Blow Up His Uncircumcised Penis Like A Balloon": Couples Are Confessing "Secret" Things They Do In Private

We asked the couples of the BuzzFeed Community to archer america the grossest things they secretly do. Here are the funny, weird, and chaotic results.

1. "My hubby and I measurement ourselves earlier and aft we poop truthful we tin comparison who had the biggest poop and assertion victory. I don’t cognize what triumph does, but we conscionable locomotion astir feeling truly bully astir our large turds."

—faiths4d06

2. "My fellow and I emotion Sour Patch Kids, but I’m a existent wuss erstwhile it comes to the sour part. He puts the candy successful his rima to suck disconnected each the sour stuff, and erstwhile he's done I'll devour the saccharine part."

—channingt

3. "My fellow is ace hairy, and each period oregon truthful helium gets maine to instrumentality close-up pictures of his butthole to spot however hairy it is."

—lizziej45546

4. "Sometimes I’ll amusement my fiancé the monolithic magnitude of humor that pools successful the toilet during my period."

—indiaj42a

5. "I LOVE popping my boyfriend's pimples, but helium hardly gets them anyplace different than his butt. We’ve gotten to the constituent wherever helium conscionable pulls down his pants and lets maine spell to town."

—laurenb4b208

6. "My hubby has picked thing retired of my teeth and eaten it before."

—secretsecret

7. "During and aft my pregnancy, my fellow helped maine poop erstwhile I was constipated. He besides enactment hemorrhoid pick connected my anus and checked to spot if my hemorrhoids were getting better."

—relley

8. "I person veneers connected my teeth, truthful I’m not expected to instrumentality bites retired of full apples. Sometimes if we're retired and don't person a knife, my hubby volition instrumentality a bite, spit it retired successful his hand, and springiness it to maine truthful I tin person some."

—laurab4dc4

9. "I pee whenever I instrumentality a shower, truthful if my spouse and I ablution unneurotic that means he's getting peed connected too."

—frozenbanana

10. "We some stock 1 razor for our faces...and everyplace other connected our bodies."

—larryt438dd

11. "He ever cracks my toes for me, religiously, each day, nary substance what benignant of shoes they’ve been cooped up successful oregon what benignant of blisters I’ve gathered."

—brookelaurenl

12. "When my fellow and I person to burp, we tally to the different person's look and belch arsenic loudly arsenic we can, similar it's a contest."

—sunshineginger

13. "We bash this happening called 'fart bombing.' If you fart, you person to drawback a fistful of aerial and propulsion it successful the different person's face. It’s disgusting, and it started arsenic a joke, but present it’s war."

—laceyk4b42

14. "We ever nonstop each different pictures of our poop. We don't person a fetish. It's conscionable benignant of go an wrong joke."

—stefanian3

15. "If 1 of america sees that the different has a bat successful the cave, my fellow and I volition prime each other’s noses to get the boogers out. He started it."

—erikap4ed12

16. "Sometimes I'll instrumentality a sip of a portion and spell to buss my fellow and dilatory spit the portion into his mouth. It lone works from my rima to his due to the fact that erstwhile helium tries it I can’t assistance but laughter and spill it connected myself."

—hannahr43f9

17. "Whenever we’re cuddling and my hubby is shirtless, I’ll changeable his armpit hairsbreadth and inquire him if helium wants maine to braid it. He ever says no, but for immoderate crushed I consciousness compelled to ask."

—victoriaf4f2309

19. "My fellow and I person a water house, and the country has a batch of ticks, truthful each nighttime we cheque each other's buttholes for ticks."

—macyb4a73

20. "When I’m bushed of my gum, he’ll clasp retired his manus for maine to spit my gum into and volition popular it successful his rima and chew it for a bit. We person fun."

—rebekahjordanr

21. "I person been known to prime crumbs retired of my partner's beard and devour them."

—staceyr41d3

22. "I often prime the lint retired of my boyfriend's belly button."

—ramiimani

23. "If my fellow gets a sunburn and his tegument starts to peel, I'll beryllium connected the sofa and peel his flaky tegument disconnected for him portion helium watches TV."

—danielles477

24. "My fellow has immense pores connected his nose, and they capable up with each sorts of grime. If I triumph a stake oregon something, my prize is 5 minutes of uninterrupted pore squeezing. If I haven't won thing successful a while, I'll straight-up connection him wealth oregon a intersexual favour to fto maine compression his pores. I request help."

—dagmarmariab

25. "We usage the aforesaid toothbrush, deodorant, and sometimes underwear and socks. We're a same-sex mates and person been unneurotic for 18 years, and immoderate would accidental we're astir apt excessively comfy with each other, but, we conscionable don't care."

—pappydanger

26. "Sometimes my woman and I volition conscionable beryllium cuddling successful bed, and I’ll rotation over, changeable her face, and say, 'Your tegument is truthful soft...I can’t hold to deterioration it.' It’s an unusual joke, and I’m not definite however it started, but we accidental it to each different often."

—leslier42cb

27. "I’m not definite if anyone other knows this, but you tin propulsion up connected the tegument and stroke up an uncircumcised penis similar a balloon. Have we done that connected aggregate occasions? Yes. Does it inactive marque america laughter each time? Yes again."

—k_supreeze

Do you person immoderate different gross confessions you privation to share? Feel escaped to stock them successful the comments beneath oregon via this signifier if you privation to stay anonymous.

Note: Submissions person been edited for magnitude and clarity.